My Little Boy

So we have about a month left in this pregnancy. I am finding myself so overcome with emotion when I look at Chase. I am so THANKFUL. Thankful that I am his Mom, thankful that he is healthy, thankful that I have been so blessed to stay home and be with him for four years. He is my heart, my little buddy - and I can't imagine life without him. He is such a gift from God.

 

 I know that I have more than enough love to go around when this new little one comes. I have no doubt I will figure out life with two (living) children. But my heart does ache a little in knowing that our time together, just he and I, is coming to an end. We sure have fun together!

 

 

I want to freeze time and just hold Chase in my arms the way I did when he was a baby. I'm sure any mother would agree that she would give anything to go back and hold her children as newborns. I have such sweet memories of those tiring days, and I wouldn't trade them for

anything.

 

 

 

I have this need to pack in all of these "one-on-one" memories with Chase. I want to take him places and do fun things and create memories with him, when really we've been doing that all along. It's only that now they seem so fleeting. We will have a new little friend to join us very soon, and I just can't wait for the adventures that await us all.

 

 

The best is yet to come!

 

A "Sprinkle"

My good friend Sarah recently hosted a fun little "sprinkle" shower for me. A small group of close friends met for a yummy dinner (and cupcakes of course!) and celebrated this new little life.

I am so blessed to have friends like these!

The whole time I was there and looking at the decorations and opening such thoughtful gifts I just felt so incredibly grateful, and it all just seems so surreal that it was actually a shower for me!

It feels so good to be able to celebrate the arrival of this special little boy.

 

 Thanks for everything ladies!

I had such a good time and am so blessed by you!

Up Up and Away

A few weeks back, I saw a sign for "balloon day" down the street.

It started at 8:00 in the morning and I thought it might be something fun for us to do. Mom and Greg were in and we had the morning to hang out before the cousins were to arrive.

 I *thought* Chase would enjoy going and *looking* at the hot air balloons and walking around the farmer's market.

Well, the next thing I know, I've agreed to get in and go UP.

 

In this.

 

I'm not a "fan" of heights.

But when you see a little boy excited as he stands in line with his ticket, you go for it.

I was so proud of him in that moment.

No fear.

All trusting.

Willing to try something new.

And I thought...why not me?

Why can't I just blow caution to the wind and try something I might not have tried had I had time to really think about it! It was tethered, and perhaps that helped make it seem more safe?!

 

So up we went!

 Not gonna lie, my knees were weak the entire time, and taking photos was a challenge because there wasn't much to keep me still. But the views were worth it, as was the look on Chase's face.

BFFs, Baby Showers and Boils

What a title huh?

That just about covers my last weekend and this week.

Pop and Grandma came in to visit and Wes and I had a date night! Then Saturday they took Chase to the children's museum. Chase had a blast!

fun with Pop and Grandma!

Saturday afternoon I headed to Louisville. I got to see my brother and neices for dinner, and then Mom and I spent a wonderful evening out together, just her and I. We had the best time!

love these girls!

pedis with momma

Sunday I met my BFF since 4th grade, Dinah, for lunch.

We had so much to catch up on and a three hour lunch was just what we needed. Dinah is due with baby # 3 - a girl - in November! I'm so excited for them! 

My forever friend.

That afternoon was my college friend Sarah's baby shower where I saw lots of my old sorority sisters.

 Me with the momma-to-be, due in just a little over a month!

What a fun, but busy weekend!

Where does the boil part fit in you say?!

Chase had what looked like a bug bite on his leg last Thursday.

ouchie.

(circled to keep track of size!)

Friday I took him in to his Dr. and she diagnosed it as a boil and put him on an antibiotic. It looked better Saturday morning but then that afternoon Wes called and said it had a red streak coming from it. This was one of those "call if you see this happen" things the doctor had mentioned. We called and were told to keep an eye on it. It started to improve until Tuesday morning when Chase had a mysterious streak/rash up the inner part of his leg, on the same leg as the boil.

that'll freak a momma out.

The boil is now almost completely healed, so we took him in yesterday (Wednesday) and two doctors looked at him and were perplexed. Not what this worrisome momma wanted to hear. While the doctors discussed it, and I nearly had an anxiety attack, they finally decided to give him a new antibiotic. They mentioned cellulitis, but found it odd that it wasn't warm to the touch nor was Chase running a fever, which usually goes along with that. They DID think it was a good thing that he wasn't running a fever. We still aren't exactly sure what's going on, but today it looked much better. We are praying that it's nothing serious and it continues to improve. Yesterday I was a Web MD/symptom googling wreck. I am such a worry wart and can let my mind go to the worst places if I allow it.

So for now we wait and hope it continues to get better.

God is good and He's got this!

Something New in the Snickerdoodle Shop

Hello!

I've added something new to The Snickerdoodle Shop... what do you think?

i love you // yellow and gray 8x10

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i love you // blue and brown 8 x 10

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i love you // pink and brown 8 x 10

AND more coming soon:

bird with french fry // 8 x 10

sunshine // 8 x 10

birth announcement // 8 x 10 // colors customizable

These are available as high-resolution "you print it" files and will be totally customizable!

Great prints for nurseries, big boy and big girl rooms, playrooms, etc.

More to come soon, because this has been fun! :)

My Birthday

My birthday was a great day. Chase and I spent a lazy morning together, then went to his gymnastics class. Afterwards, Wes met us for lunch for my favorite organic burger at Scotty's Lakehouse. After a nice nap, we had an early dinner and then Chase had his first soccer "clinic" at the YMCA. (More on that later!) Wes surprised me with yummy cupcakes after the game. It was a great day spent with my boys!

 Birthday snuggles

Me and my soccer star!

My birthday present came in an awesome orange box.

I. am. so. excited.

My new baby.

Oh, how times have changed that I get so excited about cookware.

I blame The Pioneer Woman.

Girl's Night Out {A Surprise Bon Voyage!}

My Mom's Group (aka best playgroup ever) has been scheming this big surprise for a few months now. Melissa (Matthew's mommy) will be moving to Ohio next month with her family. Even though we are so happy about Craig's new job, we are so very sad to see them go. Chase and I adore Matthew as well as Melissa, and we have so many fun memories with them. It's hard to believe that 3 years ago in a breastfeeding support group these 8 gals would come together and become such great friends!

SURPRISE!!!!!

That being said, we planned a fun girl's night out for her. Courtney went to Melissa's house and picked her up, a total surprise to Melissa. We all met for manicures and pedicures, followed by dinner and cocktails.

We also presented Melissa with a photo album complete with nearly 300 pictures from the past 3 years of playdates, birthdays, library visits, halloween parties, and park visits.  You can view it below:

Melissa, there are no words for how much your friendship has meant.

We look forward to that Reds game this summer! :)

“If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever."
-Winnie the Pooh

{Catching Up} The last few weeks

It has been a while since we updated on things around here.

 Here are some very random updates!

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We said goodbye to our beloved Altima a few weeks ago and ended up leasing a VW this time around. It is so weird to drive something new after having a car for nearly 7 years. I am such a creature of habit! I got a little misty turning it in, as we took little Chase home in that car, and he's driven around in it his entire life!

 proud Daddy leaving the hospital. Chase is so tiny here you can't even see his little head :)

heading out for newborn photos, 2 weeks old

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Wes and I joined a new gym! My old gym raised their rates AND dropped some of my favorite classes, so it was a no brainer really. The new one offers a 5:45 am Spin class Monday-Friday which is awesome. I've been trying to go to spin 3 times a week and then doing pilates and yoga too. It has been awesome fitting into jeans I haven't worn in a few years! I have worked hard to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.  I have now lost 31 lbs in the last 10 months. Yikes.  I guess I didn't realize how much I needed to lose. ha ha I never in a million zillion years thought I would get up early to work out, but I love getting home and showered before Chase is even up!

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We have signed Chase up for preschool soccer and t-ball lessons this spring/summer. Wes and I are so excited that he is now at the age to do things like this! I'm sure it will be hilarious to see 3 year olds trying to pay attention and learn about the rules of the game.

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MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) has one more meeting next week. I have enjoyed being in company with other Christian moms so much. I was only 4 months into my grief journey when I started, and I was very vulnerable and worried about getting back into "mom" culture. There were hard moments, like the first meeting when all the new babies born in the summer were introduced, but there have been so many blessings and friendships come from this group. I have already registered for next year and I'm looking forward to what the Lord has in store for me as I learn and grow in my role as a mother.

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My friend Liz and I are joining a summer bible study at our church on the fruit of the spirit. I'm looking forward to it very much and think it will help me stay in the word more as the busy summer months start!

I'll be back soon with a very exciting update in the world of potty training!

Sick and worried...

I don't talk a lot about fears on this blog, but I have them.

 

Chase woke up from his nap with a 103 temp last Thursday. I hate it when he is sick and hate that I don't know EXACTLY what it is that's bothering him. Tylenol only got his fever down to around 101, and when he fell asleep in my lap Friday afternoon (which he hasn't done since he was very little) I knew he was sick. I took him in for a checkup. Turns out it was something viral that just had to run its course.

Being his mother is my greatest joy. But in those intense feelings are also worries. My job is to protect him, to keep him safe. And when he's sick, I allow myself to go there and think the worst.

There were times after Christian passed that I would panic thinking about losing Chase, Wes, ANYONE or anything. I did not like the out of control feelings I had. Add to that the grief, hormones and heartache, it was the roughest time in my life. There were lots of late nights not being able to fall asleep easily and going in to check on Chase more times than I care to admit. Times when I would just lean over his crib and sob. Sometimes out of sadness because I could see Christian in his features, and sometimes out of joy that he was mine, and he was here, safe.

My fears can be gripping. And I've had to learn, every day, to give those fears to God. I'm realizing that worry really gets you no where, and it robs you from really enjoying life's best moments. I know God doesn't want me spending my days worrying about things that won't happen and situations that don't exist.

What does that look like? Giving your worries and fears to God? For me, it's going to Him during those moments and asking Him to give me the strength to know He is in control and knows what is best for me in all circumstances. My worrying won't change His will for my life. He alone can be my strength and support if I just allow Him to be.

Meeting Ree

Ahh, cross one off the bucket list.

I met The Pioneer Woman.

I stood in line in the hot sun for 2 hours before going inside the local Kroger store. Wes was out of town last week so I had Chase in tow. He hung out in the stroller with LOTS of snacks and things to keep him busy. The iTouch and fun new apps with Diego and Green Eggs and Ham were our friends! He was a TROOPER in every sense of the word...and we even skipped a nap for Ree. :)  I had several people compliment Chase on his good behavior and I was such a proud Momma.

 Chatting about her life-changing pizza dough and how tall Mr. Chase is!

Meeting her was super fun. I had her sign both my cookbooks, the old one and my newly purchased one (which is awesome by the way!) Chase told her he liked to help me make pizza, which was super cute.
 It was a very long afternoon but worth it for the memories with Chase.

While I was there, I was also able to meet another friend that I met online, Shey. Shey and I first met online in a support group. Shey lost her first daugher Whitney in 2010. She also designed Christian's birth announcements for me. We've shared a lot over the past year and she has helped me so much in my journey. Meeting her little girl Gia and seeing Shey in person was wonderful. As we hugged goodbye we shared how easy it would be for us to "go there" with our emotions, knowing what both of us have gone through - so we kept it light! Shey, I'm hoping we can hang out again soon, this time somewhere else besides the International foods aisle! :)