I Will Carry You...

A big part of my journey in carrying Christian was finding Angie Smith. Oddly enough I had read Angie's blog (http://www.angiesmithonline.com/) years ago and heard her story about carrying her daughter Audrey who also had a fatal prenatal diagnosis. Never thought in a million years I would one day find myself in her shoes. After Christian's diagnosis I had several people send me the link to her blog and I was once again reminded of her story. Angie is one of the strongest women I have ever seen. Her faith in Christ and her love for her little girl left me in tears so many times while reading her blog. She also wrote a book about her experience titled I Will Carry You. The book was sent to me by a family friend and served as such an encouragement to me. She and her husband Todd (of the Christian group Selah) also wrote a song for Audrey called "I Will Carry You," which we played at Christian's memorial. Below is a little bit of their story...

You can hear the song playing in the background of the video. It's beautiful and sad at the same but has given me such encouragement. The lyrics are below:

There were photographs I wanted to take

Things I wanted to show you

Sing sweet lullabies wipe your teary eyes

Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I`m not

Truth is I'm barely hanging on

But there`s a greater story

Written long before me

Because he loves you like this

So I will carry you

While your heart beats here

Long beyond the empty cradle

Through the coming years

I will carry you

All my life

And i will praise the one who`s chosen me

To carry you

Such a short time

Such a long road

All this madness

But I know

That the silence

Has brought me to his voice

And he says

I`ve shown him photographs of time beginning

Walked him through the parted seas

Angel lullabies no more teary eyes

Who could love him like this?

I will carry you

While your heart beats here

Long beyond the empty cradle

Through the coming years

I will carry you

All your life

And I will praise the one who`s chosen me

To carry you



Thank you Angie for giving me hope and encouragement, and for helping me feel a little less alone on this journey...you validated so many of the crazy things we were and are currently feeling and you are an inspiration for so many. Also, a thank you goes to Selah's record label for sending me the "boy version" of the song (it was originally written for Audrey but they have since recorded this version). We were so thankful to be able to play it at Christian's memorial.