Wes went back to work yesterday and I went back to full-time Chase duty. We've had family here off and on since Christian's birth and it was so very helpful. But it's also nice to have Chase back to his normal schedule. He seems to have adjusted well to the changes lately. Although children are resilient, I know he still senses something has been going on since February and he has seen me cry more times than I like. Still, Wes and I want to be honest with him and for him to know that it's OK to cry and show emotions. I remember once I was upset and he found a tissue and brought it to me. It just showed me how much he does know and what a compassionate little boy he is becoming. It's hard to know what to share with him about Christian. We are in parenting uncharted territory! We want him to know we trust him with knowing he had a little brother, but for now we just say we miss baby Christian and he is in heaven. We will just take it day by day as far as questions he may ask down the road.
Watching the Derby, May 2011
My goal this week is to get out and run a few errands with Chase. It's hard. I feel very vulnerable. I know with time that will get better, but you never know with grief where you'll be when something triggers it. Getting back to "normal" when it feels anything but is going to be challenging.
Please pray for us this week as we get back to our schedules and adjust to our new "normal."
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