2 weeks...

I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since we said goodbye to Christian. I guess in a lot of ways we've been in shock and a bit of a fog. We have bad days and not so bad days and to be honest I find myself just taking it hour by hour. 

There were many moments on the day he was born when I said "I don't want to forget..." I was so afraid of forgetting his scent, his weight, his perfect chin, the way his forehead crinkled like Daddy's and the feel of his soft cheek. I'm thankful that we were able to hold him for the entire day and just soak him in. But it just wasn't enough and I would do it all over again for one more minute with him. I'm thankful for Rachael from NILMDTS for taking the photos. We got them back and we are just so grateful. They are beautiful. We'd like to share a few more of them with you!

Kisses from Daddy

Brown hair like Mommy

 Overall, I am feeling better physically. The recovery process was not too difficult for me, thankfully. I was in some pain while in the hospital and luckily once I was at home it was manageable with meds and a lot of help from family. I'm now just taking Advil when needed. I have absolutely NO REGRETS about choosing the c-section. I was scared leading up to it, but so amazed and thankful for God's presence that day in the OR, and thankful that it went well and that recovery hasn't been too bad. I picked up and held Chase on my own for the first time on Mother's Day. It was wonderful. I've also been able to lift him in/out of his crib a few times, and so far so good. I got out and did a few things this week including a few playdates and a quick grocery trip but found my energy level and endurance is NOT back yet. I had my staples (done so we could get to recovery sooner to spend time with Christian!) removed last week and my wonderful doctor said I was healing just fine. He gave me the go ahead to drive and walk all I wanted.

Now for the emotional healing to begin....