Blossoms

Christian's tree is in full bloom in our front yard, and it is gorgeous!

Putting some Easter decorations on, St. Patrick's Day 2012

 Christian's Tree, 3.18.12

It really is breathtaking, and it makes me smile when I look at it.

If I were to be completely honest with you, I'd rather not have this tree at all, because of what it represents. But it is a tree that was planted in honor of such a beautiful little boy, so I choose to enjoy the blossoms. And each time it blooms it is a sweet reminder from those who gave towards it that they love and care for us, very very much.

 I'm grateful for people like that.

This time of year can be a bit complicated for me. Beautiful weather, singing birds, blooming flowers and trees: all signs of new life and new beginnings. I remember last year at this time how I couldn't handle how wrong all of that seemed, how we knew we would be welcoming a precious life into the world and then saying goodbye to our son who we wanted more than I can say - all in the same day. Looking back on this time last year, there was always a hint in the air of what was to come - a constant unavoidable dread. I tried my best to enjoy the time I had with him, and I am so glad I did, because I have precious memories and photos from my time carrying Christian.
But I knew it would never be enough.

Still, through the sadness, and through all the remembering of what was and what could have been, there is hope. Hope in Christ and eternal life with everyone we love. I can't think of anything better than that.