I cannot tell you how many awesome women I have met online through a few support groups and other blogs. They have given me so much strength and it's nice to be able to "talk" with other women who are unfortunately walking (or have walked) in my shoes. One of the first pieces of advice I was given from another Mom who was also carrying a baby with a fatal diagnosis was to DOCUMENT everything.
Well, I won't lie. When we first got the diagnosis I wanted to hide my bump when I went out, I could barely look at myself in the mirror, and even taking a shower became hard because it was just a constant reminder of what would never be...It is still VERY hard, but it all changed once we decided to honor this baby's life. I have been trying to take more photos, take pictures of the things we have been doing together as a family and to just try to absorb as much of this pregnancy as I can.
Another recommendation we received from so many people was to contact a non-profit organization called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. This nationwide organization provides remembrance photography for families whose children are either still-born or are sick at birth and only live a short time. I wasn't sure what to think at first, but I knew that I could never go back if I didn't have these photos of our baby. Even if it takes me 6 months to look at them, I know I have them. After all, it's our child... how could we not want to remember?
I looked through the website one day weeks ago and asked that God just kinda steer me into the right direction as to who I should contact. I ended up emailing Rachael Meier with Simple Heart Photography, and I now know that God had a plan in sending her our way. I immediately felt comfortable with Rachael as we discussed our situation and our hopes for our baby's birth. She herself lost a sweet baby and can empathize with us over our upcoming loss. It was important that we met with Rachael before the birth. She also offered to do a maternity shoot for us at no cost. I was skeptical at first. I didn't do them during my pregnancy with Chase and I honestly was worried that I would be really sad during the shoot and not be able to enjoy it.
Rachael was amazing and treated us like any other excited expecting parents, which I appreciated so much. I am forever grateful to Rachael for capturing these precious memories for us. They are such a blessing. We are so humbled that she donates her time and service in honor of our (and so many other) precious little ones...
You can check out Rachael's blog (including a few other photos and our story) by clicking HERE.
4 comments:
Beautiful pictures. NLMDTS photographers are angels on earth. We have wonderful memories of Hope's birth and transfer to the children's hospital. I plan to use the same photographer for her 2nd year birthday pictures. I remember too well the feelings you are having and I think it is great that you have decided that even though you are feeling like that...you are still taking advice and doing the steps to remember this pregnancy and your little one.
I can not believe there are such amazing people out there that donate their time to photograph these special moments. I cried and cried reading your entry as well as your story on the photographer's blog. Angels among us indeed.
You are such a stong and brave woman. There is a special place in heaven for momms who continue their pregnancy despite what the outcome may be. You are in my prayers everyday!
Hugs!
Kara
Love the pictures! What a gift for her to do this for you!
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