Most of our friends and families who are close to us know what we are going through, but I wanted to post our story as we begin to process what has happened in hopes we can keep everyone updated. 3 weeks ago today Wes and I went for our 23 week ultrasound. We were so excited to find out the sex of our baby. We had our ultrasound and most things looked great: strong heartbeat, brain, spine... except my amniotic fluid was very low so she couldn't tell us the sex of the baby. She then told us we could go into a room and wait on the doctor, as we had an appointment that day as well. During the appointment we were told that the low fluid was a concern, but that it could mean a few different things. Long story short, we were sent immediately to a specialist for another ultrasound. Things started to spiral out of control from there. We soon learned that our baby has a fatal condition called bilateral renal agenisis (BRA), sometimes referred to as Potter's Syndrome...meaning he or she never developed kidneys, which explained the low fluid. The condition happens in 1 out of every 4,000 pregnancies.
Over the past few weeks, we have been struggling to grasp and process the information we were given. We can't explain the emotions and hurt we felt when we learned the child I am carrying will never come home with us. The specialist informed us that we had some decisions to make concerning the pregnancy. These included terminating the pregnancy immediately or carrying the baby. I think all along in our hearts we knew the answer but we couldn't wrap our mind around the reality. How could I continue to grow every day and feel this baby kick and move knowing I would never get to bring him or her home? How will I react to strangers asking me when I'm due, what's the sex of the baby, etc? We have decided to continue the pregnancy as long as the baby is not in distress and my health is ok. We obviously pray for God to heal, but we must prepare ourselves for the reality of the situation. The miracle we pray for is to have a moment with him or her, even if it is just a few minutes, at the birth. As painful as it is, we know God has a specific plan for this baby and we leave it in His hands...
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. -Psalm 139:13-15
1 comments:
Erin, I stumbled on this post from Amber's blog (I think I maybe met you at Amber's baby shower but obviously don't know you) but wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you guys. I can only imagine what you are going through and am so sorry.
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